You get that dreaded call at 1am on a Saturday morning. You hear the voice of your brother saying “Robin Andrew had an accident and is being life flighted to Columbus”. You jump up and think “oh my God” and instantly go into what do I do?
You frantically call the hospital and tell them “my son was just brought there is he ok” of course they tell you that they can’t tell you anything but that you need to get down here as soon as possible because decisions need to be made. You instantly ask “decisions need to be made? Is he dead?” They calm your nerves enough to say no he is not but still reiterate “you need to get here quickly”.
Your anxiety is through the roof but crazy enough you are focused and just start going through the process of what’s next.
It’s amazing how you don’t have a panic attack when all your life you have struggled with them. How you can make the calls, get the little guy to your mom, get in the car and go to Columbus which is an hour away. In the past just going a few miles out of town would have put you into a full blown panic attack.
There you are not knowing what is on the other end. Praying he is still alive when you get there. Feeling the heaviness in your chest and the extreme pain in your eye because you are stressed. You are running through you head “what happened, how did it happened, is he alive, will he be the same’.
It was through this event in my life that I realized that my anxiety and panic attack disorder what my greatest gift. I had already in my life ran through every possible scenario that could happen, had a panic attack and it never happened. My body was so equipped to deal with extreme situations that it functioned higher in a real situation.
When I got there Andrew was alive, he was on life support and had a journey ahead of him that no one was ready for in my family. We had not dealt with a situation like this before. In this case we all came together to be there for him and for each other.
In the weeks to follow what was really interesting to me is that I am a healer and what I do for not only a living, but that is at the core of my being is to help people. Help them let go, feel empowered, be stronger, feel safe, see how they have control over the things that they can and let go of what they can’t, how to handle stress in their life, have compassion for others and not worry so much, not go into the victim role of “why is this happening to me”. Yep you guess it, there I was in the biggest life lesson of practicing what I teach.
Was there a lot of stress? YEP!
Was and is it still one of the greatest learning lessons of my life? ABSOLUTELY!
One of my greatest fears was driving out of town. Many of you know this about me. There I was gripping the steering wheel on 315, going around 70 mph, in the middle lane (because it was the safest), feeling the traffic going by and pushing the vehicle towards the line, watching the count down on the GPS till I would get to the exit, going a past Riverside hospital and being triggered by all the energy it radiated out, but still knowing that my son needed me and I needed me to be the best I could be not only for him but for myself.
I’m am happy to say that Andrew has made a full recovery from this accident, and is in fact in a better place then he has been in his whole life.
It was so great that today I could call him up and ask him “can I share a little piece of our story today” and to hear him say “yes”.
If I had not had a life where it use to be controlled by anxiety and panic attacks, to making a lot of life changes to come into a place where I could handle one of the greatest nightmares as a mother come true. I don’t know if I could write the same story today.
It takes being committed to yourself and what you want to change. Even if that commitment is your life journey. Having your ups and downs and knowing that it’s ok, your fine, life is perfect. Having a strength that can only come from within and the help of God. Being the place of safety for yourself. Creating the space you need to be loved. Knowing that you are the creator of your life lessons and that God is on your side.
I know that what I have learned in the last year has brought me to a place where I feel that it is not only my calling in life to help but my duties to share it with you and others. I want nothing more than to empower people who have lived with anxiety and panic attacks to know that you can have a life of freedom, where you feel loved and safe. It all starts within you and your life will reflect it outwards.
Letting go and Letting God have control was the biggest thing that helped me through this. He had been preparing me for this day for years. He has blessed my with gifts that I could not even imagine and gave me the clarity to use them in a time of need.
Do you have an area in your life that you would like to be able to have clarity and let go?
Join me for a one on one session. Let’s clear out the old and heavy and bring in God’s healing light.
Much Love,
Robin